Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize