Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
