I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize