when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
