party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
