I need help removing her.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
