I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
