When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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