do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
