It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
