I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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