That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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