he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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