I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
