OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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