Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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