umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
