i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
