3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
