I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
