her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
