sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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