cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
