May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize