Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
