he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
