i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
