I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
