pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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