I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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