OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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