You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
