My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
