Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
