Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
