Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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