you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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