Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
