I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
