carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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