You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
