He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
