I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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