You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize