butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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