Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I am midnight drunk by noon
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
