HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
