Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize