saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize