my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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