I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
