that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
