Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i think my tv is drunk
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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