she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize