She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Dear god my vagina.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
