Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
