I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
