Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
