i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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