it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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